Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
