you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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