We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
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I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
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Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
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