Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
