It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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