So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Can you bring me the toilet please
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
