It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
