Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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