I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
there was a trapeze. enough said
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
