We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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