I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize