Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize