So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize