I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
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after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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