Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
