What did we do last night that was yellow?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
