A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
