Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize