Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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