naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
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I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me