thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
