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• (917): View more from New York City

  I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.

  (518): View more from New York

  Huh?

  (917): View more from New York City

  I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass

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• (310): View more from California

  Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (912): View more from Georgia

  you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.

  (1405): View more from

  I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  ..im mad u rememberd about that

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• (631): View more from New York

  Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...

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• (863): View more from Florida

  We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (505): View more from New Mexico

  He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.

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• (863): View more from Florida

  So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.

  (1-863): View more from Florida

  You're a fucking train wreck.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Do you know how to give stiches?

  (1-612): View more from Minnesota

  I do not...this text concerns me

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend

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