I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
