Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just pee around me
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
