So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
