Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
this will be a night to untag.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
