Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
