I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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