I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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