my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize