i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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