im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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