Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize