Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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