You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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