nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Randomize
