Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
