Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
only if we run a train.
done.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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