Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
