Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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