I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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