is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Randomize
