i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
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Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
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i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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