just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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