I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
