I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
