And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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