Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
