Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Say something about gay babies.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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