what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
