Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
