so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Panties = found
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize