he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
