and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
