it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
