She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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