She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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