What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
