is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
