I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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