I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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