it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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