Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
