For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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