I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
