david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties