I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom