Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
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It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
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Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking