They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.