I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
