none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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