Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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